Friday, April 24, 2009

Um Manaf Tries to Take it Like a Man...

So I walk into a store weya refeejti o we're the only ones there aside from a man and a woman. Now the man is young o the woman looks much older so I assume inhom mu ma3a ba3ath.

Now, ana wa7da I think i'm "discreet" bes matelgoon louder than my voice. If ever you're in avenues o tesmi3oon wa7da muz3ija et-hather from like 20 stores's probably me.

So while i'm picking out clothes ashoof il mara et7i6 her hand lovingly on the man's arm and i say to myself "oh y3arfoon ba3ath" ... now if you're wondering why i'm looking at them and why i'm thinking about them, the answer is because ana Kuwaitiya wel ligafa ib dami.

Then something even more weird happens, she gets a phone call and I hear her tell her mother that she's out shopping with "rayelha" so I turn to my friend and make an innocent comment "oh, 3abali ihya oma!".

Now dear readers...I'm not mean. Walah el 3atheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeem ma kan qa9di to be mean. It was just a comment wana ma fakart gabel la I opened my mouth (which is typical Um Manaf).

O 6ab3an mashalla 3ala my "hushed whisper" all of the eastern hemisphere esma3aw my comment 3an il woman!

So as I get ready to leave the store I walk past her wela faj2a I get this shooting pain in my arm as she "accidently" elbows me and I go fffllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyying into agrab 6ooofa!

Tathkiroon lama America invaded Iraq recently? O lama Saddam decided to try one last time to "destroy" Kuwait so he sent that 3ooya missile that hit the corner of souq sharq (mind you, law he blew up lashkal ili ihnaak chan sawalna big favor) bes anyway...the sound of that explosion? Exactly similar to the sound of me crashing into the wall!

El mohim, in the end, my fault completely....I should have waited for her to leave il ma7al gabel la I took it like a man..dusted myself off, leaned on my friend and had her drag me out of the store.


Um Mit3ib said...

brilliant smela 3alaich;p

foshyaa said...

Looooool et3eshe o takle ghairha ;p

Ruby Woo said...

gal3itiiich! cuz come to think about it 7araaaam that's so mean laana she heard!

шнίѕрєг said...

Ee Wallah ELegafa Tasri ebdamna !! =P
bs mo mn 9ijha wallah aham shai ena she hit u with her elbow =O !!!
so u learned ur lesson nw haha la t7shein b9ot 3ali again =P

P.S: Wayed 9arat feini halmawaqf bs 6ansh ta3sh =P

xtc said...

:O LOL!!

Mo mn 9ijha she elbowed you!! Awww, poor Um Manaf. I have a tendency to open my mouth at the wrong time sometimes too :/

I don't blame you, I mean... Ya3ni, if it was obvious she was much older than him, I would be like wth? too. And stare. And listen to their conversation. It's very normal, 'cause it's Kuwait. :D

Um-Manaf said...

Um Mit3ib: 7awlay ma ta7sideeni ;p

foshya: looool!

Ruby Woo: adry it was mean bes walah el 3atheem ma kan qa9di to be mean. It was a stupid comment that came out before I could control it .. ;p 3al 3imooom are u satisfied with my punishment?

Whisper: hahah ee i actually got a bruise from it :(

xtc: ADRY! Ma7ad fahemni ghairich wala!

eldctora said...

aww poor youu .. ma3la tukbren oo tnsan..

enzain su2al,

ely ysht'3lon bl ma7al shno mawqfhum?

suspic said...


That was awesome.

I heard a "6ing 6ing 6ing!" when I was reading shlon 6irtai, totally KO.

So does she look old or is she really an old woman who married a young lad? =O

Um Gargah said...

aww hun thats ok! ana um il fathayi7, im known for speaking at the wrong times. law ana ib mukanich, chan shekeyt thats she's cheating on her husband with this dude and said it out loud without knowing it.. ;$;p

Anonymous said...

hiiiii um manaf

when r u going to write the next post of ur story ??

wallah we want to know what happens were crazy about story..!!


thank u :*

ĐǻñĎõøðñ said...

typical um manaf ;Pp

Silver said...

magool ila..


eshda3wa said...



Cooookies said...

hmmm sorry but even though u didnt mean to be mean.. facts are u were mean ! 7aram that must've hurted her !

Um-Manaf said...

eldra: khayfeen 3ala their manequins .. ma7ad ehtam feeni.

Suspic: glad my pain and humiliation amuses you lol ..and I have no idea shsalfat'hom bes now i'm worried for the man..she has a temper :(

Um Gargah: hahahaha...! chan yemkin she would have sent you flying through a window not just towards a wall..

Anony: i'll try to get to it asap...wala sorry :(

Dandoon: don't I just make you proud?! :D

Silver: hahaha ... it hurt though :(

eshda3wa: adry :(

coookies: adry adry...o bacher when i'm married o a6la3 weya zooji o wa7da etshoofni wetgool 3ani nafs el kalam ra7 athker il mawqef the other day o bagool...hey karma what's up :)

Anonymous said...

loool hilarious! at least u didn't hurt urself!