Friday, January 30, 2009

Shebi6 Chabdich Ya Um Manaf??

Ana wa7da WAYED hadya... ya3ni awal impression, o thany impression of me usually shocks people lana 3igub ma y3arfooni 3adil e9eer feeehom "UBAAY AWAL MARA SHEFTICH MA 7ASAIT INICH CHITHEE!" ...

Fa elyoom yatni wa7da yemkin g3adat ma3ay 4 times fa hatha khal ensameeh her "fourth impression" o g3adat eta7al6am 7ag taqreeban ni9 sa3a 3an shaghla o lama khali9at she turned to me o galat "Um Manaf az3ajtich 9a7? Adry wayed at7al6am...a7es no3ich mata6fireen 7adich hadya..."

Al7ean 3ala eedi il yemeen o 3ala eedi il yesar 2 girls e3arfooni min esneeen ... ef9alaw thi7ik

Girl 3al yemeen: KAAAAAAK um manaf ma eta7al6am??

Girl 3al yesar: hathyyyyy hadya??

Girl 3al yemeen: shoffaaay lama etgooleen 3an Um Manaf hadya chinich ga3da etgoleen nikta

Girl 3al yesar: ee chinich ga3da etgooleen inha testi7i o khajoola o thakeya o matzef o .... (basically 6abat bakhlaaq ahalii eli yabooni..)

Fa hathee maskeena 3yoonha 9araw @@ ... "9ij Um Manaf? shlon?? Ya3ni shili enarfizich?"

Khal agoolikom ...

1. people who drive. all of them. ma7ad ib hal deera i3aref esooog 3adil. i'm sure kel wa7d/wa7da feekom that are reading this 9adaftkom bil share3 o momkin fe yoom min il ayam da3ait 3alaikom bil ghala6 fa eli eeda e7targat aw ili rasa dash bil sikan....i might be the one to blame. (..and I will NOT pay for damages by the way...)

2.eli isoolfoon bil cainima. LAAA ya3ni law sema7tay ili ga3da jedami ili ga3da etsoolfeen 7ag ili yamich 3an el hosha eli 9arat bainich o bain Saro yom il yem3a ib bait yaditich gabel il ghada....NE6REEENI aroo7 agoolihom isawoon PAUSE 3al filim 3ashan negdar enrakez ma3ach lana tadreen ana daf3a 3KD o met3anya 6aga darb min baitna 3ashan a3aref esh9ar bainich o bain sara el maleeeqa eli ma3rifat ishlon etrid 3alaich wetsaktich!

3. Eli maya6liboon akel ib ma63am o yakloon min 9a7nich. NA3AAAM?! KHAAIR OMY?! Fe a7ad galich tegdireen takleen akli? Fe a7ad galich tefathalay o meday eedich 3ala ni9 my sandwhich? 6ab3an 7azat'ha ma agool shay bes 3yoooni ewa9loon il message o akthar ...

4. Eli etdig wetdazez msgat lai yoom edeen o matwagef 7atan law ta7gireenha.
"9aba7 el khair" .. <-- la mu khair wakhray eshtabeen (Um Manaf ignores)
ba3ad ni9 sa3a ..."ha esh3indich elyoom" <--- chini rada 3alaiha o ga3da etkamel il conversation. MALICH SHIGHEL ESH3INDI ELYOOM
ba3ad 3 hours ... "emnawer il khaleej" <--- 7AAADICH STAAAALKER (Um Manaf swerves into the nearest exit and leaves el khaleej)
ba3ad 4 more hours .. "Um Manooooooooooof :(" <---- MU 3YOON UM MANOOOF YAL 7ANAAA
12 belaail ..."gooodnight......" <--- tekfoon sharid 3alaiha?!
bacher el 9ib7 ... "halaw...7adi meshtahya cainima ..khal enroo7.." <---- khal nestiree7 a7san ana agool :)

5. Guys eli yet7arashoon. Okay adry fee minhom yaboon yet3arafoon or whatever ..bes ili yay bethabi6 wa7da o sayarta matroosa shabab! Ya3ni inta shino il message ili ga3d etwa9la 7ag il bint (el bint ihya ana ib hal example...) lama etyey etsafe6'ha weya ni9 shabab el kwait .. ?! Inik tabeeha? Inik nawee etizawaj'ha? Etha ibtil3ab 3alaiha, law sema7t do it in a smarter way! Wa9el rab3ik agrab Mcdonalds o nazel'hom...then kamel weyaha! iiiffffff....

tara el lista wayed a6wal min chihtee bes etha baktib kelshay lazim asawii blog yedeeed bes 7ag hal mawthooooo3!



ps: shoofaw "Slumdog Millionaire"

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

WAY WAAAAAY FA6ASTEENI MIN IL THI7IK .... A7ISICH 5AFEEFAT 6EENA 9IJ 9IJ 9IJ U SAY I7NA SHINU INFAKER FEE OO SALFAT IL CINEMA 9IJ 9IJ OO MIN GALB UR SOO FUNNY ... ITS A COMPLIMENT BTW

tigerlilly said...

hahahahaa ambaih bamoot thi7ik! i agree with kil shay 3al lista btw! #3 LOOL!

bs ur ipod thing khara3ni! i was reading oo faj2a the music starts playing YUMMA!

Music, Happiness, Love said...

LOOL! you always crack me up with ur thoughts.. i agree with all of themm

ĐǻñĎõøðñ said...

loooooool!!

your posts never fail to make me laugh ;**

Diablo said...

1. I get where you comin from .. but the way i do it is .. I consider everyone in the street SAIN and im INSAIN or vice versa .. but i still sometimes get really freakin annoyed 5a9atan lima a7ad ylif 3alaik oo china idinya b5air oo you almost run into a tree or shaba ?.. my come back is i over take the person .. and start to slow down and almost stop ..and if i came to a complete stop that person wont like whats comin to them .. ( lots of them just turn at the next exit or whatever to avoid being whopped

2. its a 3 step proccess
a. can you please be quite im trying to watch the movie ?
b. excuse me ? we're here to watch the movie THX !!
C. SHUT THE F*** UP YOU IDIOT :D

3. Hmmm no comment

4. to be honest ? you shouldve replied that your not in a good mood or whatever..

5. I almost died a couple of times because of guys chasing girls .. andi get really freaking annoyed when the stop the road just to try and get her attention .. again .. the car blocking thing OR i try to get them up the cerb be cutting them off !! andif the girl too is slowing down just to talk to the guy while driving and both jaming the road .. a BIG FAT F*** YOU BOTH would do the trick :D.. pull up somewhere and have sex i dont give a shyt .. just dont block the road


sorry 3al hathra :P

Cinderella said...

U r so funny
u just made my day
thank u!

Um-Manaf said...

Anony: and i shall take it as a compliment ;) .. lol im glad u enjoyed the post ;p

tigerlilly: ubay il ipod thing khara3ni ana ba3ad hahah! shelta shelta

M, H, L: I love when people agree with everything i think and say ;) we could totally be best friends if u remain this way :D

Dandoon: yaay ..thank u hun ;**

Diablo: 1. I can't fight to save my life so el 9ara7a afathel yelling at people from inside my car while smiling so that they don't notice..

4. la maleeqa ma tefham

o its okay 3al hathra ;p

Cinderella: mashkooora ... legaitay ur glass slipper wila lail7ean? (adry amlaq bes eshtaboon mini its midnight o banam!)

Um Mit3ib said...

waih ya3ne mo 3ajbitich msgaty? ;p

FourMe said...

I don't having ppl taste my food bs No Noo Nooo sharing!! 7ada order your own

Silhouette Crime said...

mt mn il'67k!!!

ana ma7b i share food bl asas!!

w i hate going to cinemas, when ppl just go in to make out..aaa3 get a room!!!

εκsha5™ said...

enzain shloun 3ala salfat etha filim barra ilq8 w mo mtarjam w ray7a weya wa7id ma yefham engilaizee? :p kel digeega "shgal? sh9ar? shfeeh m3a9eb? laish hatha sawa chethe?" LAAA2 aboos eedik laaaaaa2 ;(

btw slumdog millionare 5ayaaaaaaal

Abi-Omi-Abi-Oboy said...

Abbbaaiih la 7aram eli ekonon mo 6albeen yakserun kha6re .. a7ss eyun mo yowa3a bs b3dain yeshtehun bs khala9 ma yamdehum ya6lebun fa e6ag6egun weyanna... I SOOO welcome them cuz asasan ma khale9 aklo abadan ana =p

Um-Manaf said...

Um Mit3ib: msgaatich a7la msgaat a9lan ;p

FourMe: ee 7ada!

Silhoutte Crime: waaaaaii3333

eksha5: ana a9lan eli ekalemni ib ni9 il filim a7ger chini ma3arfa ... o eee slumdog.. 3awar galbiii

Abi Omiii: ya7laaaailich! 7adich 6ayba...ana 3aksich ;p

Limited said...

LOL i laughed so much at this my sister started giving me weird looks =P

i can agree with u on all this .. especially the food thing .. i cant share food unless im not that hungry .. other than tht forget it xD

Music, Happiness, Love said...

uve been awarded the butterfly award from me ;)

Gone Bonkers. said...

haha i'm curious to read more ... wish you had the time!

Ruby Woo said...

- ya3ni bitgooleen wala mara si7tay 3ala isayara ili yamich wintay tsoogeen? No one's perfect in driving, bithaat fe hal DEERA!!

- that day I was watching changelling o something big was happening bas the b*tch ili ga3da jidami bas itsolef, waaaii baghait akmush'ha min 7jabha ili matfookh bas instead I just shushed her.. 3abalich 3agha? LAA abadan, ila ZADAT!

- ana kila agool 7ag inas, if i dont offer, latmidoon eedkom! o fe FARG bain athoog o i share!